Currently living out an unhappy marriage? Dread your partner returning home from work? Can’t stand the barrage of insults that fly when an argument gets started? You’re not alone! Millions of people exist today in unhappy marriages. Many are disappointed in the way that their relationship has worked out, while many more are too afraid to do anything about it for fear of ending up on their own. If this sounds like you, then believe me, THERE IS HOPE. Here is a three-step strategy to help you realize happiness in an unhappy marriage.

1. Change your Focus

What is happiness? It is different for everyone, however it is often an object, person or situation that is desired, but which is not yet within reach. In fact, people go through life pursuing happiness, or the things that they think will make them happy. A great career, a big house, a fast car…yes, all of these things bring happiness, but often it is short-lived. True happiness is in finding peace within yourself.

It’s time to start working on you. Be thankful for what you have in life and search out the positives in your relationship. No matter what the state of your marriage I can guarantee you that if you look hard enough you will find a handful of positives about it. Why do I say this? Because, it is normally these positives that first bought you together as a loving couple. Focus on these positives, as this is where the true strength of your relationship lies. Nurture them and make them grow by emphasizing them with your partner. Do this, and you’ll start to turn an unhappy marriage in to a happy one.

2. Attract the Positive

Negativity breeds unhappiness. If you want to change your marriage from an unhappy marriage to a happy one then you need to learn to attract the positive. Many people feel that they are either lucky or unlucky, but luck is a matter of applying hard work to a situation, stacking the odds in your favor. Instead of being feeling negative towards the unhappiness in your marriage, look instead to replace that negativity with positivity. Every time you have a negative thought, stop yourself and replace it with a positive thought. The same is true of a negative action. If you catch yourself about to hurl abuse at your partner, or deny your partner because of negative feelings, stop and make a conscious effort to produce a positive action instead.

Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whatever we do and feel directly impinges on our relative happiness. Attracting positivity increases the feelings of happiness in our life and relationship, giving us every chance to develop happiness in a marriage.

3. Develop Confidence

Confidence is a happiness magnet. When we lack confidence we are not happy with ourselves or our relationships. However, when we develop confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we become changed people. All of a sudden it becomes easier to find happiness in our situation, and this in turn breathes happiness back into our relationships. But how do we go about gaining confidence? It’s easy…we just need to feel those fears that are holding us back and then do what we fear anyway!

Good luck on rediscovering the happiness you seek in your marriage.