Marriage and relationships are fraught with pitfalls. Treading the right line so as to avoid these dangers is not easy, especially when many remain invisible to one or both partners until it is too late. Should your relationship have fallen foul of a pitfall…and believe me, they are numerous…then don’t despair! Relationship troubles are not terminal (unless you want them to be). Just follow this easy five-step guide to navigate your relationship into calmer and less troubled times.

1. Open up Your Reservoir of Hope

In every relationship there is a hidden reservoir of hope. Research has shown that even the most destructive of arguments in a relationship stem from basically good (if a little misguided) intentions. Tapping into these good intentions is the key to unlocking your relationship’s reservoir of hope, as deep down inside, at least a little bit of each partner wants to find a way to make the relationship work. This is where the solution to all relationship troubles start.

2. Replace Negatives with Positives

It only takes one act of sarcasm, one wayward comment or put-down to undo many, many positive actions you’ve made towards your relationship. Negative actions are one of the quickest ways to hurt a relationship; they light the touchpaper, igniting those arguments that will take you further and further away from your relationship goals. Nurture your relationship by avoiding negativity and instead replacing it with positivity. For instance, each time you are about to let rip with a barrage of insults, check yourself and replace them with positive actions, such as a kiss, a hug or a sincere compliment. Replacing negatives with positives is an extremely important action to take in order to escape relationship troubles.

3. Big Changes are Just Lots of Little Changes

Getting your relationship from where it is now to where you want it to be can seem impossible. You might think that only a miracle can lift it across such a huge chasm…and you’d be right! Big changes rarely happen in one huge movement. Instead, big changes are just made up of lots and lots of little changes, that over time all add up to one big change. Start small, and make one little change to your relationship every day. This could be an action such as a new daily routine where you kiss your partner first thing in the morning and last thing at night, or flashing your partner a smile at least twice each day.

4. Talk & Listen

Good communication is central to every successful relationship, but is generally missing in every failing relationship. Talking & listening (not shouting, screaming or hurling insults) is where your relationship can accelerate away from troubled times. The best way to initiate a conversation is to ask your partner about their day, or about something that interests them. This is vital as you are demonstrating that you care about their thoughts and actions. This is much more preferable than talking at your partner about what you’ve done.

When you get responses from your partner you need to listen…I mean REALLY LISTEN! Understand their responses and talk about areas that they’ve touched on or ask further questions about what they’ve talked about in an effort to expand the conversation.

5. Compromise

All relationships are a compromise. To make compromise work for your relationship you’ve both got to learn a bit of give and take, and the best way to do this is to start negotiating. If there is something that your partner desperately wants to do in your relationship, offer it to him/her on a ‘limited’ basis in return for something that you want.

Implement these five steps in your relationship and you’ll be well on the way to remedying (or avoiding) relationship troubles.