Job stress is one of the most common causes for arguments among married couples. In this competitive job market, companies are demanding more and more from you in order to keep your position, let alone get ahead. You may be spending late night hours at the office and working overtime just to meet project deadlines. You may have to travel frequently in order to see to long distance accounts. You may feel the pressure to perform is severe due to company lay offs and cut backs. Whatever the source of your job stress, it can have a detrimental effect on your marriage if you don’t keep it in check.

If both partners are working, the job stress is doubled. Most people have a hard time leaving their job concerns at the office, and if both of you are bringing home office conflicts and deadline pressure, your home is likely to be a time bomb waiting to go off. When you come home worried about whether or not you will meet your deadline and feeling the pressure of demotion or losing your job if you don’t meet it, you carry that stress all over your demeanor.

It is not uncommon for a person to come home and feel it necessary to unwind before beginning conversation. You may need to have a glass of wine, put your feet up, and reflect on the day. It is important to give each other this downtime. Do not plan important conversations for the period of time right after work. Save these for times when you are both well rested and in a more relaxed frame of mind, such as the weekend. Most things can wait if you think that the alternative is a fight.

In addition to downtime immediately after work, you can also try de-stressing on the way home from work to lessen the chances that you will take your stress out on your spouse. Try listening to soothing music on headphones during a train commute or slipping in a meditative recording that plays on your drive home. Focus your attention away from the issues at work, realizing that you must leave them for tomorrow. Try to look forward to your time at home, thinking of your loved one and the evening ahead.

Remember that while your spouse is readily available, he or she may not be the best person to talk to about all your job troubles. Try to talk to friends or family members about your situation at work rather than dumping it all on your spouse every day. This does not mean you should avoid sharing the events of your career with each other, but don’t take advantage of the convenience of a partner by using them as a counsellor.

Another way to avoid letting stress have a negative effect on your marriage is by setting aside specific time to be together. As you schedule becomes more and more demanding, you may find it hard to spend quality time alone together, so schedule a regular weekly date night that cannot be cancelled without permission from your spouse. Take two day holidays or arrange to spend the night at an intimate nearby hotel. Even one day a week of romance can do wonders for your intimacy level.