There are few things more precious in life than bringing a newborn child into the world. However, the realization that both partners’ lives will never be the same again can be too much to bear for some couples. Marriages that were stable and happy ‘pre-birth’ all of a sudden become strained. Unable to handle the new responsibilities, financial pressures and lifestyle changes that come as part and parcel of having a child, arguments flair-up and communication breaks down. Then, before they know it, both partners are staring into the abyss of separation or divorce.
Of course, not all marital problems after childbirth end up taking a relationship to the brink. It really depends on each partner’s state of mind, how well they work together as a team, and how they handle all of the issues that arise during the course of raising a child. Generally, if a couple can get through the first year, coming to workable agreements on things like who changes diapers when and who’s turn it is to put baby to bed, then they’ll have few marital problems to worry about in the long-term.
So, what should a married couple expect to go through in their first year of parenthood?
The first 6 weeks
The first six weeks are perhaps the most difficult of all. All your baby does is scream, eat and be sick…it’s enough to test even the most patient of personalities! Sleep deprivation is common, and making time for each other as a couple can seem impossible – perfect ingredients for an argument or two! The key to marriage survival within the first six weeks is to have a PLAN! Responsibilities must be shared, and marital problems after childbirth tackled together. Time for each other must be carved out, even if it is only for twenty minutes or so in the evening.
6 weeks to 6 months
Stress on your marriage may be further increased as your child becomes mobile. Changing your living space to accommodate a crawling or walking child can become a very contentious issue, especially if objects are accidentally broken. Again, having a plan and working together as a team to prevent this from becoming an issue is very important.
6 months to 1 year
By now, you’ll be getting into a new lifestyle routine. What is important at this stage is to make sure the romance in your relationship stays alive. It might have taken a six month sabbatical, but it’s now time to rekindle those feelings of love and desire for your partner. It need not mean buying your partner expensive gifts or flowers everyday, although I’m sure they’d be appreciated every now and then! Just concentrate on simple gestures of love. Make an effort to pay two compliments to your partner every day and let them know how much you appreciate them. It will do wonders for your relationship, as well as make any marital problems after childbirth that much easier to cope with!
