Improve Relationships

Worried your relationship has lost its sparkle? Tired of the same old routine? Have an overwhelming feeling that the passion has gone? If so DON’T PANIC! It’s a common situation encountered in many, many adult relationships every year. The good news is that, with a little commitment from both sides, there are unlimited ways in which you can bring your relationship back to life, restoring the excitement that first bought you together. Here is an 8-step guide on how to improve relationships.

1) Clear the Air! – The first step to improving your relationship is to admit that there is room for improvement…on both sides. Broaching the subject can be the hardest part, but you have to be firm to be kind. Open communication is a founding principle in every relationship. If this is not functioning properly, then what hope do you have? Force that line of communication open if you have to; abandon your existing expectations and tell your partner that you need to have a serious talk. Just like you would for a business meeting, arrange a time when you will have each other’s undivided attention. Switch off the TV, let the answerphone do its job and let it be just you and your partner, face to face, without any distractions.

Tell your partner how you are feeling and where you believe the problems are. Let your partner tell you how he/she is feeling and where they feel the problems are. Do not be drawn into an argument, but instead state the issues in a rational, matter-of-fact way. If you want, you could always draw up a list of issues on a sheet of paper.

Clearing the air is difficult, I know. But once things are out in the open instead of bottled up inside you, I guarantee that you will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

2) Forgive & Forget – In many instances, current relationship difficulties are caused by the inability of one or both partners to accept the actions of the other. Clear the air talks should serve as a fresh start. You need to wipe the slate clean – forgive & forget – so you can move forward, both agreeing that the issues that have pulled you apart are dead and buried, never to be referred to again.

3) Goal Set – Okay, so you’ve cleared the air. You should both have an understanding of the issues your relationship faces, but what now? It’s time to set some relationship goals!

When you first got together, it is likely that you both had a set of goals that might have included buying a home together, having children or getting married. But what happens when those goals have been achieved? Many of us bob about in the Relationship Sea without any clear direction, not realizing that we are drifting further and further apart from each other.

If this is you, then you need to refocus on your relationship and figure out what you want from it at both an individual and partnership level. Decide what you want from your relationship, and find out what your partner wants from the relationship…no holes barred! See where there is common ground and set your relationship some goals based on the common needs that you find.

Where needs are different you both must to learn to compromise. For instance, if sex is an issue where one partner wants it more than the other, both should be prepared to give a little, so you meet part way.

4) Make Plans Together – Goals of course mean nothing without a plan of action to support them. Start making plans together, and start planing to enjoy each others company as you did when you first met.

5) Laugh! – Make time for laughter with each other. Laugh for at least 30-seconds each day, even if you have to force yourself to laugh. Recount the funny incidents in your relationship, or your feelings for each other when you first met. It’s a great stress reliever and reminds you of the happy times in your relationship. Keep this up and you’ll soon be spontaneously laughing together like you’ve only just met.

6) Be Impulsive! - Excitement is having the ability to be unpredictable as a couple. Plans are great, but be impulsive once in a while…it will give you both a great buzz and help restore the passion and excitement in your relationship.

7) Agree to Disagree - No relationship is complete without an argument or two. But don’t let disagreements govern your relationship. If you cannot find a quick solution, then agree to disagree and leave it at that. Move forward from an argument by focusing on another strong aspect of your relationship that you both agree upon.

8) Keep Talking – Always, always, always talk to each other! It can be difficult at first, I know, but it will pay dividends in the long run.

 

 

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