When a partner has an extramarital affair, the relationship can really suffer. The effects of extramarital affairs can run deep and for many people can have a lifelong effect, making them distrustful and paranoid. Many relationships that have fallen victim to an extramarital affair end up in separation or divorce, but there are those that manage to get through this period and actually become stronger for it. The effects of extramarital affairs can actually affect relationships very differently, depending on the couples’ approach to resolving the situation and the actual cause of the affair.

When a married partner has an extramarital affair, the partner will invariably experience a range of emotions, some of which will last longer than others. In most cases, it is not the sexual aspect of the affair that runs deep with the spouse, but rather the deception and betrayal. Even emotional affair, where no sex is involved, can have a profound effect upon the partner when he or she finds out. Some of the effects of extramarital affairs upon a partner can include:

Becoming distrustful and paranoid: Some people manage to regain trust in their cheating partners, whereas other – even if they make out that they do trust their partner – never quite manage to enjoy a feeling of security again. Trust is an important part of any relationship, and once this trust has been broken, unless it can be regained, it could prove to be the downfall of the marriage.

Anger and resentment: One of the effects of extramarital affairs is intense anger and resentment towards the cheating partner. This is usually a shorter-term effect, and either results in a breakup of the relationship, where both partners eventually move on with their lives, or passes with time as the couple begin to work on their relationship.

Fear: Once a partner has had an affair, their partner can often become fearful of the same thing happening again. As a result, you may find that partner trying a little too hard to please, which means that he or she is unable to actually be themselves because they are too busy trying – in the wrong way – to try and please their partner.

Sexual abstinence: One of the effects of extramarital affairs is often sexual abstinence, where the spouse of the cheating partner is unable to bring himself or herself to even touch the partner that had an affair. This is usually in cases where the affair has involved sex rather than an emotional affair. Again, this is an effect that could lead to the breakup of the relationship, but with the right approach could be rectified in time. 

Many of the effects of extramarital affairs can be addressed through counselling sessions, and trained counsellors will be able to help couples to identify the most profound effects and seek a way of resolving these issues. Although not all marriages will manage to survive the effects of extramarital affairs, many couples that are willing to start over and try and build on their relationship can find success through these methods.